In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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