The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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