i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
