Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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