shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
