Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
