Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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