Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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