its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
