please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
