so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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