u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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