At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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