think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
