Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
