This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
