I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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