so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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