As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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