and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drunk is not a location!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
