Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
