I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
no you cant smoke seaweed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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