my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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