We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
