omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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