We're facebook friends in real life
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize