I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pants are for mortals
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
