i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
