real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
