She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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