I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
