Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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