This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
