So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
