I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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