u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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