I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
