Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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