i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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