You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
