Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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