why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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