i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
