wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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