Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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