I want to make a zoo with you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
