If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
