Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
