She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
