Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
