you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
