I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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